April 10th, 2013

NG: hate things

I went for a walk once. It was awful. *Grumpycat face*

Yeah so, I hate walks. Haaaaate em. Felt like crap when I got back, and then I couldn't relax enough to nap which I really needed since I slept bad last night. >_< I feel like the only possible solution here is to move to the house with the basement swimming pool. Or win the lottery and build my own house with pool, or invent something that eliminates the need for humans to exercise. Either one of those things, really.

Anyway. Remember memes? I miss memes. We need more memes around here! Redbrunja posted this one the other day (that she made up, no less!) and I like it:

If you were an all-powerful djinni and could erase five pairings from canon and fandom both (ANY PAIRINGS), which pairings would you choose and why?

[Potential spoilers for tagged shows, but nothing that isn&apos;t already pretty wellknown.]1. Sam/Andy, Rookie Blue
I knooow! Remember like 5 minutes ago when this blog was ALL ABOUT THEM? Cause I've been trying damned hard to forget, myself. Normally when ships go down I just move on and don't look back, not on the show or the ship - but this one was not a normal ship. For whatever reason, and I have no idea why, this particular ship drove me crazy batshit insane even by my already nutty standards and honestly I'm still not over it. And now the show is starting up again soon and I know that I will be regularly tempted to click those spoiler-cuts that I'm sure my excellent f-listers will use without fail (sorry, did my anvil hint hit you in the brains? Whoops.) and I'm not sure I'm strong enough to stop myself. I have terrible impulse control, you guys know this. So, if this ship didn't exist? Problem solved.

2. Oliver/Laurel, Arrow
Look, I'll be honest, most of my choices is going to be based on personal dislike rather than the idea that eliminating ships for the pure betterment of the show - but in this case it's both. This show has a lot of issues (a LOT) but the biggest IMO is the continued threat of this ship and really Laurel as a character in general. First of all, it's a terrible ship because he CHEATED on her. Cheating = the second-biggest ship-killer there is (after rape/attempted rape), there is literally no possible (non-scifi) way to unring that bell IMO. Maybe in life things work differently, but in TV-land I demand more from supposed true wuv couples. Second, he cheated on her with her SISTER, I count that as a multiplying factor. Thirdly, you know how I feel about ships that already dated before - I hate them. Really, the best thing this show could do is kill off Laurel, but I doubt that'll happen. And as long as she's alive, this ship will always be lurking, and the show will suffer for it. Guess it'll have to remain "that show I want when I want to shamelessly oogle a hot guy doing athletic things while shirtless" and nothing more.

3. John/Harold, Person of Interest
I try not to deny others the joy of shipping - it's fun, it makes you happy, everyone should do it. When it comes to slash ships though, there are some I can understand the appeal of and some that I really can't - like shipping two clearly heterosexual people, where one or both is clearly hung up on a member of the opposite sex. Like, there's a not-so-fine line between "reading between the lines and spotting subtext" and "blatantly disregarding canon in favor of making something sexual that isn't", and the latter just annoys me. And especially in this case: they're grown-ass people, they live in modern times with fairly wide-spread acceptance, they've both clearly been in committed heterosexual relationships and atleast Harold is definitely still hung up on Grace. They can be best friends and co-workers and platonic life-partners and brothers - why the need to add a sexual aspect? I mean, it's not like there's not plently of sexually ambiguous dudes on TV that totally work for slash shipping, and I fully support the shipping of those as long as it's done in a geniune and non-mocking manner, but some shows just don't leave enough unclear for there to be any question of what sexuality they are. And just as I'd reject any shipping of gay characters with straight ones, or asexuals in sexual relationships, I reject making heterosexual people gay based on what you as a viewer want.
(Obvious exception: If people are suggesting the characters are bisexual then I'm cool with that, it's just that bisexuality is incredibly rare on TV/in public perception, generally speaking.)

4. Deb/Dexter, Dexter
I flip-flop a bit on incest ships - I generally dislike them, but there's also plenty of examples where I've made exceptions if it's a half/step/adopted situation, so my beef with this ship is not of the moral outrage kind, it's of the "where da fuck did that come from?" kind. Because seriously, at no point in the seasons prior did I ever think "hey, they look like they're about to kiss" or reflect that their sibling bond was unnatural in any way. Obviously I have nothing to personally compare with, but I've seen enough sibling relationships on enough shows over the years to have a pretty decent yardstick, I think, and their's seemed perfectly fine to me considering they'd lost their mom pretty early and then their dad too, making them the only family they had left. So I didn't see it at all, not even when I knew the actors were married in real life, and I didn't like it because their platonic sibling relationship was IMO the heart of the show, especially after Rita died.

5. The Doctor/River Song (and the Doctor/every female companion, which in other words is basically every companion period), Doctor Who
I hate River. I hated her when she showed up in season 4, I hated that she clearly was going to come back, I hated it when she did come back and every time after that, and I hate that Moffat has made her ~important in the show mythology. Why I hate her? IDK, some people you just can't stand, especially when they're smug, condescending and jammed down your throat and waved infront of your face while someone goes "look, isn't she awesome? Isn't she just sooooo cheeky and sassy and enigmatic and mysterious and fascinating and interesting and amazing?".
And this sort of ties in with my dislike of the Doctor being this studmuffin who gets all da ladies - I don't mind if SOME of them gets a crush on him, because lets face it: any human-looking alien with a time-and-space travel device is going to be attractive, especially if he's not fat or have warts or something, but I want him to be mostly oblivious to it, like a cross between a nerd who suddenly got hot and someone's grandpa. Because he IS, is the thing, he's someone's flipping grandpa, and he's 1000 years old and an alien, and he's not Casanova or James Bond.

Bonus, because it really should go without saying: Any ship featuring a child and an adult is gross. Don't ask me where the line for that goes - if you have to ask then it's probably gross. I think the first time I even realized there were people who shipped like this was when I heard of Hermione/Snape, and it just blew my mind - HOW. WHY. WHAT IS YOUR CHILDHOOD TRAUMA AND PLX WOULD YOU GET SOME THERAPY - HERE I'LL PAY. Just ... nope. Nope nope nope nope nope. Not cool. Never cool.